I am Darren Stanley

I just wanna let u know that I'm also human.
I do have feelings and a wonderful heart.
But it saddens me
cos U treat me
worst than how human should treat each other
I dunno how to describe how u treated me.
Its even worst than how I treated u last time.

Maybe for you its nothing cos u're the one
who don't feel the pain of what I'm going thru. .

Suddenly the black history flash back to my mind,
When we started to fall in love with each other. .
I was given a choice whether to choose u or not. .
Then I think for the future. .
Maybe it's worth it to go with you. .
So I give it a shot. .
I had to went thru all the hard times. .
Because I know it is gonna be worth it to be with you. .
Although U don't know what was really happening that time. .
I rather not to share with you and keep it inside my heart. .
So that we can share our love. .

That moment WAS the happiest moment of my life.
I know I found the true love and it will last long. .
Although we keep on quarreling
At the end of the day, we forgive each other. .
And it makes our love grow even more stronger. .

Most of the time I keep on imagine how will our future be. .
We will be living in a big city. .
with big incomes,big house,luxury cars,having kids,
happy families. . .

And that is my problem, I imagine to much. . .

I thought it will be a long relationship. . .
I said to myself that I want to engage with you after
I finish my diploma studies. .

But everything has become ashes just in a blink of a second.
It was so unbelievable for me. .

Because of that unwanted things happened to me,
I can't sleep well. .
I got no appetite to eat. .
I can't study for my test. .
I can't even pay attention inside the class. .

Anyway,who cares about me right?

My main point writing this post is to tell you people out there how I felt
today. .

I went to her house this morning
just wanna give back her belongings
that she left at kuching. .
I knew she was at home. .
But her siblings lied to me and told me that she was not at home. .
I was shocked and just shake my head and passed her stuff to her sister. .

Suddenly, she called my phone for the first time after the "epitome" of break up
and asked me not to dp stupid stuff.

Let me ask you guys. . what should I do?
act nothing happen? thats impossible for me. .

We didnt even settle this matter in a proper way cos she was avoiding me since.
So she asked me to meet her at parkson food court where a lot of people
having their meals plus the noisy environment.

Do u think we can settle it properly?

I don't think so.
I told her to go better place
so that can have a better conversation.
She gave me 1 hour to talk to her,
unfortunately,She dont even wanna look at me and busy with her phone calls.

In the end our conversation last for 5 minutes
and she told me she gotta go help her friend to do some work. .

After that "1 hour conversation", I went out with my friends. .
Later that night, ah juang called me and ask me to join him at alfresco for happy hour. Indeed we were having fun. .

Then,I met miss "1 hour conversation" at alfresco. She act like nothing happen between us. Just like a cannibal who had her stomach full..

So I messaged with her but she was busying talking to guys who surrounded her.
And there she was. .Acting like Miss Universe wannabe(sorry for being harsh)
What I want to do is just talk to Miss Universe from Sarawak.
And she ask me not to interfere with her life and ask me go home
at the same time purposely showed the message to a guy.
I got nothing to say to her. .Really treat me worst than my brother treat his puppies. .

I was damn angry to myself and gave back her passport pictures and went home. I was wondering why am I so stupid chasing a girl who don't really loves me after the past 3 years. I really dunno where wanna put my face. LOL. If she wanna act cool. Then go on. I'm not gonna stop her anymore. I just wanna see how far can she go with that kind of attitude. Best of luck! :)

So i said to myself - One day she will realize it and regret for what she had done.

Like they said-If u treat people badly, other people will treat u even worst. Just mark my word.Cos I went through that before

Another chance would be better

As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don’t want to take responsibility for

I’m sorry for the times I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I’m sorry for the times that I had to go
I’m sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I’m sorry for the times I would neglect
I’m sorry for the times I disrespect

I’m sorry for the wrong things that I’ve done
I’m sorry I’m not always there for you
I’m sorry for the fact that I'm not aware
That you can’t sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday
Sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I'm so proud to call you my girl

I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it’s just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

If and only if you would give me another chance
I would appreciate it more
Everyone wont realize the good thing had already happened
Until its gone

I wanna be with you. .

I know they wanna come and separate
us but they can't do us nothing
You're the one I want and
I'm continue loving. . .

Cause you considered wify
and I'm considered husband
And I'm always be there for you. .

You got that kind of love
that always make after fussin
And that make me closer to you.

And no one knows
Why I'm into you
Cause you'll will never know
what its like to walk in our shoes

And no one know,
the thing we been through
Can never measure up to
half of what I put
through

That's why we'll break through

And I don't care what they say
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you

I wanna be with you
And I don't care what they do
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you

Seems like every day that goes by
things are getting harder
Want to be the one that give you
the whole enchilada

Cause I know what my baby like. .

All about knowing you I'm
into doing things to keep you longer
Sticking together forever,
watch you grow stronger

That's the way it has to be,
everything proper
Keeping it always true. .

You are everything in my life
see the joy you bring
And ain't no one I compare you to.

And I know that you will
never walk away from me
no matter what
And that's why I plan to do
the same thing for you

And I want you to know
that I love you so much,
Tnay Pei Yin

I'm Sorry

Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same

[Pre-Chorus:]
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die

[Chorus:]
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry:

This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried it's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry!

[Chorus]

Just for you. . .

I missed the time when you were at kuching with me. . .

I hope that I can spend more time with you in the future. .

Take care of yourself ya. .

Love,
Darren